everytime i feel the urge to be happy, and start a new life, there's always something that refrains me from achieving it. it brings so much pain, but i want to fight it, i want to be happy too..

i always felt so lonely in home, truthfully. i love most of them so much, they are my everything. maybe im just having a bad thoughts but i feel like im being drifted apart from them everytime . i just dont have anyone to talk to and share my secrets. i rarely have people to console me and tell me i will be okay in my nerve-wracking age. its always me, myself who comforts myself, telling myself im strong enough to handle everything. i always hate to admit this but i know everyone is not so happy in the home. i wish for a happy us, a closer bond, bigger love. but its so hard because they dont want to play their role perfectly in home.

Labels: family, life, love, pains

if i were asked about my favourite singer, it will definitely be....????? who???? guess who???? it is no other than my taeyeon❤❤❤❤❤ taeyeon unni❤❤❤❤❤❤ taeyeon hime❤❤❤❤❤

lately i have been falling in love with her so much, like seriously❤ her album is pure gold, and is my everyday jam! my favourite in the album is "ur" and "stress" tbh, all songs in that album is so perfect and makes me go ear-gasm. check it out and you wont be disappointed ok❤

taeyeon is so beautiful in every way. she looks like a delicate tinkerbell :b especially when she had blonde hair... cant describe fully how cute she is. furthermore, her voice is so beautiful. her voice soothes me whenever im bored and soothes me when im sad or even happy. she sings beautifully, idk maybe its because she sings with a full emotion.

she is also my idol recently because.... hurm? she is very diligent and hardworking on her life. she also shows great maturity, since she was the oldest in her group... yeah, i feel her sometimes because im the oldest daughter in my family. it is so hard sometimes because everyone looks up to you and depend on you for every single thing. im really worried for my spm result in march 2016. im not so sure whether i did the best but... right now i leave my fate and everything to Allah swt.

back to my idol, taeyeon really understands her fan well. yeah, maybe i dont know her well or maybe i dont see the real sides of her but hey, it can be seen clearly from my point of view by the way she kept her dating secretly? she also treats her fan well with a lot of fanservice. im not thinking to meet her someday because im not a hardcore fan yet (and i wont because im not that type) but if i were destined to meet her, i would test whether she is a good person to her fans? lol

anyway, writing makes me feel at ease and i feel like i am actually talking to someone at my silent times. i like to write about every single piece of my feelings lately. just sharing what i feel and what i want to❤

Labels: idol, inspiration, love